News has emerged this morning of an extraordinary mix-up involving the former duchess of Cambridge and a BuzzFeed quiz which caused the price of diamonds to crash last week.
The popular website, known for its pointless quizzes and vapid listicles, is officially remaining tight-lipped, however, a source has revealed to us the scale of the panic caused by the outrageously low score achieved by Mrs Markle on the ‘Rate my ring’ quiz.
‘‘Shit went down. Nobody has ever got such a low score on one of our quizzes before and everyone in the office was shocked. I mean, she’s (was) a princess, she should know about these things, so we thought, maybe she knows something we dont?’’
Staffers at the website then began contacting diamond industry insiders and panic within the industry spread as the rumour mill went into overdrive.
One answer that alarmed experts was when Mrs Markle incorrectly identified a ring worth £5500 as being worth just £4,995.
’’I mean, FFS if you can’t tell a 1.25 ct radiant cut single stone from a 1.30 ct emerald cut with baguette shoulders then what are we all doing here?’’ said a distraught London based jeweller.
Luckily, calm was restored to the diamond markets later that day as it was revealed that the former suits actor had been aboard a private jet which was experiencing severe turbulence when she took the quiz, causing her to misidentify the jewellery. Markets regained 95% of their value by the end of the day, to the relief of investors and traders.
‘‘I shat myself. Both literally and figuratively’’ admitted an embarrassed New York based diamond trader. ‘‘I hope this doesn’t happen again.’’
We reached out to the palace who refused to comment.
‘I couldn’t give a fuck’ said a former royal aid who wished to remain anonymous. ‘She’s dead to me’.